I'm Back!

I've been MIA for a while now. Getting ready for the home study, and getting DH set up to leave again has been crazy town. Since he left, I've been working like a madman to finish the other house things, handle all the pets and a few puppy vet visits for illness, and I just haven't had much time to jump on here!

Just a tiny update for now, but the home study went okay. The more we get into this process though, the more we are realizing that what we were originally told/expecting is just not how it's done in this area. I wasn't completely comfortable with the turns this path was taking, and since the home study, DH and I both have been feeling more and more uncertain. 

Last night, he was able to call, and we had a long, open discussion. Learning the hurdles we are up against, and having a good long time to reflect on our visit, we have decided not to continue at this time. This was a really tough choice for us, and both of us are saddened that it has come to this. We went into this so excited, wanting to grow our family, and make a difference. We still want those things, but it's just not the right time for this particular journey, knowing what we know now. There are only a handful of months before DH deploys again, and he's been gone 2 out of the last 3 months as it is. It has been nothing but hectic since we moved here in the fall, and we both feel strongly that we need to focus on having time together before he leaves again for 9-12 months. Adoption is off the table indefinitely, but we've agreed today to reopen the discussion it at our next duty station. 

I will continue to seek TTC treatment over the course of DH being home, and we will see if it leads to anything. We were against doing IUI while he's away, because it was so complicated last time. Last night we brought it up again, and will consider it as time gets closer. For now though, I'm just adjusting to this major shift in our plans. I know it's the right thing to do, but that doesn't mean it isn't incredibly tough.