Another 2WW.

I hate living life 2 weeks at a time. 2 weeks of meds and checks and hoping that blood work looks even the slightest bit promising. Then 2 weeks of waiting, hoping, and over analyzing every little thing. Only a few of these 2 week waits left before DH leaves, and each time I lose more and more hope.

I went back on CD 11 to find that I'd gone from 13, 11, 9 on the right - to 16, 14, 12, 11, 11, 9. They went ahead and triggered in the office, which caught me off guard. I thought for sure they'd wait to see what my E2 came back at, and it frustrated me to trigger without that info, with only 1 *almost* mature follie. I understand that they grew a lot in a day and a half, and that new ones popped up. But I wasn't at risk for a crap-ton of mature follies if I'd waited to see levels, especially just doing TI. With last cycle failing with the single follie/low E2 - I was very upset that I didn't get more time. I think it had a lot to do with that it was the last day before a holiday weekend, and they had to play it safe with the quick growth. Which sucks for me. The bare minimum chances are not cutting it with me, and I'm running out of time. They called at the end of the day to let me know my E2 was 320, up from 141 around 36 hours prior, so that made me feel a bit better, but I still am not holding my breath this cycle.

In other news, I was a part of a really neat Biggest Loser type challenge with some lovely friends. It wrapped up this week, and I somehow managed to win. I lost about 25 lbs - give or take when it fluctuates - in 12 weeks, and I feel great. I didn't push myself with crazy new exercise because I was too scared to during all these treatments. (Not that it ended up helping anything!) Instead was really careful with what/how much I ate. Going back to a pretty strict gluten free diet (something I'd slacked on before this) with smaller portions, better food, and lots of walking. The only thing that is frustrating is that even though I'm down two sizes, I don't feel like I look it. 2 weeks on heavy injectables, then 2 weeks of 500 mgs of progesterone for the entire duration of the challenge? Yeah, the bloat is kicking my ass. But, I do at least feel healthier, and I have a good new routine with my meals/snacks - and that's a big deal to me, so I'm still proud. I'm also over the wall that I hit with the scale not budging for almost the last 4 weeks of the challenge until the final week. I added 30 day shred after the BFNs from last cycle, and I think that helped get me over the hump. I hit this wall at about the same weight last year, when I lost so much during DH's deployment/ when I was on break from IF treatments. I lost 35-40 last year, all of which had been gained since the first miscarriage - and I slowly put it all back on when he came home and we started doing treatments again. It's a dirty, vicious cycle. Hard enough I hate my body for failing at giving me a healthy pregnancy. But to then have it change so much because of the pursuit of that goal? Lame. So lame. Hopefully this is a huge step in the right direction to get back towards my size in college and when we got married.