A Happy One.

I thought I'd shake it up a bit, and go a little more upbeat and positive than I've been as of late. It's been a tough few weeks. I came back from visiting my family to a house that had been burglarized, and since then there have been 3 other break ins on my little quiet street. Also, our final IUI attempt was a failure. Though despite the unnerving and heartbreaking events, I've actually been more optimistic the last few days. I've made a conscious decision to make the best of things when I can, and try to be happier. So things have been hard? Ok then. What can I do to make things better?

For starters, I will be moving to a secure, gated neighborhood. It will be smaller, which means I'll be doing some downsizing, which I've procrastinated doing for a long time now. I'm looking forward to a clean start, having everything organized, and living a little simpler. If we've been carting it around from place to place for years, but never unpacked the box, we don't need it. :) I'm also surprising Hubs with a grill and patio set for the new place, since we actually have an area to put it. I know we will enjoy having some fun outdoor time this summer.

I see yet another new RE in a few weeks. They are supposed to do the more extensive treatments (injections) that my previous Tricare Doc did not handle. I am optimistic about the program they have there, and hope that my new Doc will be proactive and thorough with my treatment during out limited time left in TX. I'd love to have a good plan going before Hubs gets home, so that it can just be a part of my routine, instead of at the forefront of everything we do like it has been. This recent IUI failure did hit us hard, and we are going to back off a little bit from being so TTC-centric. After being apart for a year, we've just missed each other. We need some "us" time, and that has to be just as important as the journey we are on for a family.

Just as a heads I'm going to get religious in this paragraph. Today was predicted by a man and his group to be the Rapture; the second coming of Christ. That did not happen, but I'm not going to make jokes about it like so much of the media is doing. Because really, I have no more validity in saying it won't happen, than he did in saying it would. We aren't meant to know the day or the hour of Christ's return. I'm not always be the best Christian, or even person for that matter. I'm not proud of my feelings or actions on many occasions. I do however, know what is in my heart and what I believe. I don't feel like my heart and soul should be prepared for God because of some arbitrary day, but rather every day. No amount of time on this earth is guaranteed, and I want whatever time I do have here to matter.

My point with all that is that we never know what's going to happen in the future. There is so much uncertainty in this world, and I'm tired of living my life upset or worried about what I don't have, or what I don't like about how things are going. I can't say for sure if I'll ever have a baby. I don't know how much of my marriage my husband will actually be around for, or where the Army may send us over the years. I'm not sure how many of the things we are working towards will happen, much less happen like we hope or plan. What I do know is that every day that I'm given in this life gives me the possibility to be happy. To be grateful. To do the right thing and try and be a good person, wife, daughter, and friend. I will fail at this at times, and I will succeed at others. But no matter what, I'm going to keep trying, because nothing that's worth doing ever came easily.