I've lost count of how many times I've been in one of these. Living life in 2 week long increments of treatment and waiting. It's BS, if you ask me, but clearly the universe has no concern for what I think is fair or unfair. That bastard.
Either way, it's out of my hands now. I triggered on Sunday, which went well, other than my thigh being really sore the next day. I was showing the starting signs of O already on Sunday, and based on my experience with my cycles, my best guess is it happened overnight Monday, or early Tuesday. Though honestly, pinpointing it like that is just another thing for me to obsess over, so, whatever.
I go on Friday for my progesterone draw, and hopefully I'll have the rest of my Rx by then. I thought it was 100 mg P.rometrium 3x/day. That part is correct, but I'm also supposed to do another 100 mg 2x/day supp-style. So, 500 mg a day up from the 100 mg I've done in the past. If that doesn't help my LP, I might be a lost cause! Too bad the pharmacy didn't get it right either, because all they gave me were 24 pills at 100 mg. Obviously that lasts less than 5 days at the correct dose, instead of the full 12. The on-post pharmacy is the only one around here that doesn't take electronic prescriptions, and I'm not driving 2 hours to pick up a paper slip. I'm crossing my fingers that it can be here via snail-mail by Friday, so I can have it filled before mine runs out over the weekend.
Still no word from our Home Study worker. I know they are busy, but I was really wishing that we'd at least get a phone call with a guesstimate on our first visit. Hopefully soon.
In NBR news, DH has a 4 day weekend this weekend. That makes me quite happy. It is supposed to rain, ha, but I don't care. This will be the first down time since he came back from training that hasn't been full of my appointments, or errands. Well, other than the blood work, but that's pretty minor, since I can do that locally. I wanted to take both pups out to the park at the river, so I'm hoping the rain lets up for bit to allow us an outing! I can't wait until spring when we can do more with them outdoors. There is supposed to be pretty good hiking, camping, canoeing, etc. around here, and I'm so excited to get out there and do it all when the weather is nicer!
Showing posts with label infertility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label infertility. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
A Turn for the Better.
I was so upset earlier this week with how things were going; or not going, as the case was. I'm so happy that DH is now home, and has been a huge help to my sanity! He is such a wonderful support, and my best friend. I am capable of handling it all on my own, but it is just so much better when he's here.
I had my second follie check on Wednesday. I went from nothing on Monday, to one 11, one 10, and two 9's. Some improvement, since everything on Monday was non-existent. Yesterday I had the third check. A much better jump after the most recent 2 days of stims! I had one 15, one 14, one 13, and two 12's. Still not where they need to be, but my body seems to be over the hump, and progressing well. I stimmed yesterday, will again today, and will trigger on Sunday.
I have no expectations, and I'm trying to keep it that way. I go back next Friday for a progesterone check, and I start P.rometrium on Wednesday, 3 times a day. Hopefully it will make more of an improvement in my pathetic luteal phase than the 100 mg supps did. I (almost) always had a great progesterone level on my post-O draws with my Texas RE, but then, AF would show up by around 10-11 dpo. If the P.rometrium can extend that a handful of days, that would at least help me feel like I had a chance.
So yet again, here goes nothing.
I had my second follie check on Wednesday. I went from nothing on Monday, to one 11, one 10, and two 9's. Some improvement, since everything on Monday was non-existent. Yesterday I had the third check. A much better jump after the most recent 2 days of stims! I had one 15, one 14, one 13, and two 12's. Still not where they need to be, but my body seems to be over the hump, and progressing well. I stimmed yesterday, will again today, and will trigger on Sunday.
I have no expectations, and I'm trying to keep it that way. I go back next Friday for a progesterone check, and I start P.rometrium on Wednesday, 3 times a day. Hopefully it will make more of an improvement in my pathetic luteal phase than the 100 mg supps did. I (almost) always had a great progesterone level on my post-O draws with my Texas RE, but then, AF would show up by around 10-11 dpo. If the P.rometrium can extend that a handful of days, that would at least help me feel like I had a chance.
So yet again, here goes nothing.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
A bit of a vent.
One more day. That's all I have to get through before DH comes home from this training. Damn good thing, because any longer, and I might scream.
On the TTC front, I had my first follie check on Monday. Nothing. Nada, zip, zlitch. I had my E2 drawn, but they didn't tell me what it was. I know it's early, but that was so disheartening to not have a single promising follie started. I did 75iu CD 3-5, then 50 on CD 6. I was instructed to stay at 75iu yesterday and today, and I have my second scan in the morning, as well as another E2 draw. I'm not getting my hopes up. I hate having to drive over a hour each way every few days, and I'm nervous about the possibility of having to stim for a long time to see results. That's a lot of gas, time, and complications with DH's work days - just to get down there for appointments full of fail. And the G.onal F headaches... ouch.
On the home front, I'm at my wits end. 99% of the time, all the pets are great fun, and relatively easy to take care of, especially given the number of them. But lately, they are driving me nuts. I think it's because I've been gone a lot with appointments, and when I am home, I've been constantly busy. Cleaning, continuing to unpack and renovate, juggling all the calls, bills, errands, etc. since it's all on me while DH is gone... they aren't getting their normal amount of attention. I'm rarely sitting still in one spot or room, and typically, as I run around the house, I have at least 4 of them follow every step I take. The new kitten has suddenly taken to going potty in the shower. The big female cat has been beating up the kitten. Paisley pup cut her leg open on something outside, which I learned about because the dogs came in covered in blood. She's all bandaged and fine now, and it doesn't seem to hurt her much, thankfully. Toby is going through a big growth spurt/rebellious puppy stage - though training tips from my friend C have helped immensely. The house has been an ongoing nightmare of a project for months, and I know that once things are done, it will be calmer. Or at least finishing the parts I can do. It will be professionals coming in for the big things, thankfully. But in the mean time, trying to balance everything alone - the repairs, the pets, and the meds/appointments? I'm going bonkers.
I think I'll have some wine to go with my whine.
On the TTC front, I had my first follie check on Monday. Nothing. Nada, zip, zlitch. I had my E2 drawn, but they didn't tell me what it was. I know it's early, but that was so disheartening to not have a single promising follie started. I did 75iu CD 3-5, then 50 on CD 6. I was instructed to stay at 75iu yesterday and today, and I have my second scan in the morning, as well as another E2 draw. I'm not getting my hopes up. I hate having to drive over a hour each way every few days, and I'm nervous about the possibility of having to stim for a long time to see results. That's a lot of gas, time, and complications with DH's work days - just to get down there for appointments full of fail. And the G.onal F headaches... ouch.
On the home front, I'm at my wits end. 99% of the time, all the pets are great fun, and relatively easy to take care of, especially given the number of them. But lately, they are driving me nuts. I think it's because I've been gone a lot with appointments, and when I am home, I've been constantly busy. Cleaning, continuing to unpack and renovate, juggling all the calls, bills, errands, etc. since it's all on me while DH is gone... they aren't getting their normal amount of attention. I'm rarely sitting still in one spot or room, and typically, as I run around the house, I have at least 4 of them follow every step I take. The new kitten has suddenly taken to going potty in the shower. The big female cat has been beating up the kitten. Paisley pup cut her leg open on something outside, which I learned about because the dogs came in covered in blood. She's all bandaged and fine now, and it doesn't seem to hurt her much, thankfully. Toby is going through a big growth spurt/rebellious puppy stage - though training tips from my friend C have helped immensely. The house has been an ongoing nightmare of a project for months, and I know that once things are done, it will be calmer. Or at least finishing the parts I can do. It will be professionals coming in for the big things, thankfully. But in the mean time, trying to balance everything alone - the repairs, the pets, and the meds/appointments? I'm going bonkers.
I think I'll have some wine to go with my whine.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Holding My Breath.
Tomorrow will be quite a telling day as far as this, and future cycles are concerned. I have three appointments in the morning; one for insulin resistance blood work testing, one for pre-conception counseling, and then a follow up with my RE. Tomorrow should also be CD1, and I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that I can get the ball rolling to do a treatment cycle this time. I was originally under the impression the the counseling was only about the use of blood thinners during pregnancy, should I get there again. When I called to find out about starting my medications for this cycle, I learned it was an all-inclusive counseling, and a pre-requisite of beginning a treatment plan. I finally got it all worked out scheduling wise, so that I have the counseling done in time to, theoretically, not be too late for this cycle. I just hope that when I see my RE tomorrow afterwards, that he's game to get this started, too.
I've been taking the P.laquenil for the lupus, and while I haven't been taking it long enough to notice pain improvement, my body is certainly reacting to it in the form of side effects. They are a bit scary if I don't keep an eye on them, so I'm trying to stay on the ball. I've also got all my G.onal F, hanging out in the fridge, thanks to a very generous friend, K! I've had enough of break time. I'm ready to do this.
Missing a cycle when you are TTC around a military training and deployment schedule is a big deal. Every chance that you miss out on before your soldier leaves for a year can seem crushing. What if *that* was the time it could have worked? What if one more cycle would help the RE find the right meds, and get it right, so that you're successful before he leaves? It's such a stressful combination, and I'm just holding my breath that I don't have to miss this chance.
I've been taking the P.laquenil for the lupus, and while I haven't been taking it long enough to notice pain improvement, my body is certainly reacting to it in the form of side effects. They are a bit scary if I don't keep an eye on them, so I'm trying to stay on the ball. I've also got all my G.onal F, hanging out in the fridge, thanks to a very generous friend, K! I've had enough of break time. I'm ready to do this.
Missing a cycle when you are TTC around a military training and deployment schedule is a big deal. Every chance that you miss out on before your soldier leaves for a year can seem crushing. What if *that* was the time it could have worked? What if one more cycle would help the RE find the right meds, and get it right, so that you're successful before he leaves? It's such a stressful combination, and I'm just holding my breath that I don't have to miss this chance.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Lupus "Lite"
That's my current diagnosis after my first appointment with my new rheumatologist. Auto Immune/Connective Tissue Disease/Mild Lupus. This doesn't rule out full-on lupus, it is just all the can be diagnosed in a single visit based on symptoms and past labs. For now though, that is where it stands. I had lots of blood work and testing done, like always. I go back in one month for follow up tests so my Doc can start monitoring for damage to any organs or systems. That's the only way to nail down calling it full blown Lupus. If there isn't significant damage at this time, it still may be progressing that direction, so it is a scary and uncertain road. The comfort comes in knowing that I'm going to be watched closely, be treated proactively, and that if and when things go downhill, it will be caught quickly. I feel confident in my new Doc, and in the care of this practice, and for that, I'm so fortunate.
My overall health, of course, comes first and foremost. I'm so thankful to feel like I'm in good hands with that. However, I will admit that I left in happy tears at how he will be addressing my concerns of how this has impacted my struggles with IF and RPL. His outlook on it was that - if there are treatments that won't hurt, and have a good chance of helping, why would we not pull out all the stops after all I've been through? And that is an approach I've been hoping to find in a Dr. for the last 15ish months since I found out about the auto immune issues. It's getting longer between each pregnancy, with each pregnancy being shorter than the one before. It's been almost a year since my last BFP, and that only lasted a few day - even though my treatments have been stronger, and more involved since then. I've had significant symptom flare ups in that time as well. I have to believe they are connected. If there are things that I can do or take that might be game changing, bring it on.
So, it's P.laquenil starting immediately to combat my symptoms and flare ups. That will help me feel better, but also may help lend success to upcoming IF treatments. If I get pregnant again, I'll add in P.rednisone steroid treatment, as well as injection blood thinners, likely L.ovenox. He may also add progesterone shots, since I have low numbers in the department. That's the plan, and it is one I feel great about. I still have to *get* to the part where it comes into play though. That whole pesky actually getting pregnant thing that I'm not too good at? That's my big obstacle now. I can only hope that my new RE that I start with next week will be as understanding and proactive. Oh, and that they will work with Soldier's training and deployment schedule, which will cause some complications.
It is a lot to process. This is a journey I only recently decided to revisit, and it is a little tough to get my head in the right place with it. But, I can honestly say that I'm glad we reopened this door. Knowing that everything that can be done, will be done - that's huge. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. At least I'll know I took this ride as far as it could go, and won't regret, or wonder 'what if' down the line.
My overall health, of course, comes first and foremost. I'm so thankful to feel like I'm in good hands with that. However, I will admit that I left in happy tears at how he will be addressing my concerns of how this has impacted my struggles with IF and RPL. His outlook on it was that - if there are treatments that won't hurt, and have a good chance of helping, why would we not pull out all the stops after all I've been through? And that is an approach I've been hoping to find in a Dr. for the last 15ish months since I found out about the auto immune issues. It's getting longer between each pregnancy, with each pregnancy being shorter than the one before. It's been almost a year since my last BFP, and that only lasted a few day - even though my treatments have been stronger, and more involved since then. I've had significant symptom flare ups in that time as well. I have to believe they are connected. If there are things that I can do or take that might be game changing, bring it on.
So, it's P.laquenil starting immediately to combat my symptoms and flare ups. That will help me feel better, but also may help lend success to upcoming IF treatments. If I get pregnant again, I'll add in P.rednisone steroid treatment, as well as injection blood thinners, likely L.ovenox. He may also add progesterone shots, since I have low numbers in the department. That's the plan, and it is one I feel great about. I still have to *get* to the part where it comes into play though. That whole pesky actually getting pregnant thing that I'm not too good at? That's my big obstacle now. I can only hope that my new RE that I start with next week will be as understanding and proactive. Oh, and that they will work with Soldier's training and deployment schedule, which will cause some complications.
It is a lot to process. This is a journey I only recently decided to revisit, and it is a little tough to get my head in the right place with it. But, I can honestly say that I'm glad we reopened this door. Knowing that everything that can be done, will be done - that's huge. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. At least I'll know I took this ride as far as it could go, and won't regret, or wonder 'what if' down the line.
Friday, September 23, 2011
I give up.
At my final RE appointment today, I learned that I already O'd on my own. This appointment was made 3 days earlier than the previous one in order to avoid this happening again. Glad that worked out so well. I just don't understand. Two years of my body being almost increasingly uncooperative, and now, when it's our last few cycle attempts, it decides to work? Don't get me wrong, textbook-esque cycles are fine by me... so long as I'm aware of it! I'd be happy to keep trying while moving forward with the adoption, now that I have an RE and a plan that is clearly making progress. But, I don't have that option, so I'm a little frustrated that on our last attempt, it is once again out of my control.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Exciting New Plans.
Big decisions have been made in the H household. July was another failed cycle for us. All the results from my re-drawn tests came back, also. My ANA titer is higher than previous draws. With +ANA, anything with a ratio of 1:40 or higher is considered positive. Mine has been a steady 1:320 since last October, and now is 1:640. It's not unusual for it to fluctuate, but because I am negative for any specific auto-immune diseases, it is a bit odd. I am being referred to a second rheumatologist, this time within the same hospital my RE practices out of.
I am going ahead with this cycle. It will be our last try with the Femara 7.5 mg before moving on to a different course of meds. Since my new rheumatologist will be in the same practice as my RE, hopefully they can get me on an additional medicine for my immune issues that could possibly help have a different outcome. We move in about 10 weeks or so, which gives us this cycle, and one, maybe 2, more chances before we head to a new duty station.
Which leads me to previously mentioned exciting new plans. When we get to our next station, we will be pursuing foster-to-adopt! Soldier and I are both quite excited about this decision, and we are confident that this is the right choice for us. We will continue to attempt TTC while we are still here in TX, but regardless of the outcome, the adoption is something that is in our near future.
People have said to us in the past, "why don't you just adopt?" and I just want to make it very clear, that "just" and "adopt" do not belong in the same sentence. It is not a simple or easy thing to do, and it's not just some default backup plan in the game of having difficultly having biological children. It is not a "plan B" nor is it something that people have to settle for when they can't have children in the way that most people consider "normal." This is a huge decision, one we are thrilled at the prospect of, and these children will be ever bit as loved and wanted as ones that are biologically ours.
We had been hesitant to pursue this road before now. We looked into the process during Solider's deployment, but with knowing about our upcoming move, there wasn't enough time to commit to the process before we would be leaving. Knowing that we will be in TN for quite some time, and that we will be buying a home, allows us to fully invest in this journey, and we can't wait!
Ideally, we would like to take in a sibling set, preferably a brother and sister. We are hoping for them both to be under 3 or so years old, and will only be taking in children that are legally free for adoption. After all these losses, we just can't bare to have other kids taken away from us. This will be a difficult and long road for us. It's a complicated process, and there will be heartache. We simply don't have the money for private adoption, and in choosing this road, we can help kids who would otherwise grow up in the foster care system. Sibling sets are hard to place, because so many want to adopt one at a time, and typically people want infants. To know what kind of difference we can make to 2 children who need a home... it just makes our hearts happy and hopeful for the first time in many years about having a family. I can't wait to get to our new home, settle in, and have the family we've always dreamed of. It might be done unconventionally, but hey, we have never been much of a normal couple anyhow. :)
I am going ahead with this cycle. It will be our last try with the Femara 7.5 mg before moving on to a different course of meds. Since my new rheumatologist will be in the same practice as my RE, hopefully they can get me on an additional medicine for my immune issues that could possibly help have a different outcome. We move in about 10 weeks or so, which gives us this cycle, and one, maybe 2, more chances before we head to a new duty station.
Which leads me to previously mentioned exciting new plans. When we get to our next station, we will be pursuing foster-to-adopt! Soldier and I are both quite excited about this decision, and we are confident that this is the right choice for us. We will continue to attempt TTC while we are still here in TX, but regardless of the outcome, the adoption is something that is in our near future.
People have said to us in the past, "why don't you just adopt?" and I just want to make it very clear, that "just" and "adopt" do not belong in the same sentence. It is not a simple or easy thing to do, and it's not just some default backup plan in the game of having difficultly having biological children. It is not a "plan B" nor is it something that people have to settle for when they can't have children in the way that most people consider "normal." This is a huge decision, one we are thrilled at the prospect of, and these children will be ever bit as loved and wanted as ones that are biologically ours.
We had been hesitant to pursue this road before now. We looked into the process during Solider's deployment, but with knowing about our upcoming move, there wasn't enough time to commit to the process before we would be leaving. Knowing that we will be in TN for quite some time, and that we will be buying a home, allows us to fully invest in this journey, and we can't wait!
Ideally, we would like to take in a sibling set, preferably a brother and sister. We are hoping for them both to be under 3 or so years old, and will only be taking in children that are legally free for adoption. After all these losses, we just can't bare to have other kids taken away from us. This will be a difficult and long road for us. It's a complicated process, and there will be heartache. We simply don't have the money for private adoption, and in choosing this road, we can help kids who would otherwise grow up in the foster care system. Sibling sets are hard to place, because so many want to adopt one at a time, and typically people want infants. To know what kind of difference we can make to 2 children who need a home... it just makes our hearts happy and hopeful for the first time in many years about having a family. I can't wait to get to our new home, settle in, and have the family we've always dreamed of. It might be done unconventionally, but hey, we have never been much of a normal couple anyhow. :)
